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That Flu, Bitch

That flu better not come and get me, bitch.

Freedom

I've felt free lately. Free from hate. For the longest time I would hate some one if I didn't know them and I would hate a lot of people in general. I don't feel that I have to go around hating people. It makes life harder.

Last week I told Norman that I hated the person that took my apartment away but I said that to get attention from Norman. I'm happier where I am. I don't even think of that person.

Every step I would take, I would think some one was against me. I thought they were out to get me. I've been like this since the mid 90's.

I'm freeing myself from the hate and escaping it. It feels much better.

Strange Days Indeed

I can't believe the make believe Joe is trying to tell me that he doesn't know who Cammy is. The real Joe was very good friends with her when they were both at this program. Make-believe-Joe is going to have to do a better job than that if he wants to make himself believe that I don't know who he is.

I noticed that workers were talking to Cammy like she was stupid but you can tell that the workers didn't want to talk to her like she was stupid. You could tell they felt weird about the whole situation.

Then Norman said, "She's one of you guys now." That felt weird. She still has to go through all of those brain injured steps of acceptance, denial and blah blah blah. There's going to come a time when she gets frustrated, I forgot what step that was but she'll lash out at the workers when that time comes.

Damn, Maia's ass was very smoking hot today. I couldn't believe it. John said she had a little boy's ass but she must of transformed from the last time I saw her because it was very shapely and meaty today. Then she wore a tight shirt that showed off her puffy nipples and her body from top to bottom was just awesome.

I try not to like her too much because I can't have her and she's married but she makes it damn hard.

I saw goddess Shawna today. Very beautiful like usual. Even with out make up on she's beautiful.

Oh shit, Simone's tits looked great. I love the shirt she was wearing. She has some real good meat on her tits. On top of it, she has a real awesome ass.

The student I was working with today, her breathe stinks. I try not to get too close to her because I don't feel like smelling the odor. It's a shame because she's so pretty.

I was shocked when I walked in the building this morning and the first person to greet me was Gail. Gail came up to me and told me what happened with Anne. It's weird because I can picture Anne's face right now, talking. It's hard to picture death.

I was thinking about going to Anne's wake and putting a soda can in her coffin next to her.

My head hurts

I have a big headache.

My weight

I went to the doctors yesterday and my weight was 225. I was a little shocked after I got off the scale. I thought I was closer to 210.

Forgetting

Yesterday, Maia was rubbing either her elbow, middle of her arm or shoulder against my elbow, middle of my arm or shoulder. I forgot which it was. I don't remember the sensation but I do remember enjoying it.

That was the highlight of my day. That and eating a chicken salad from Wendy's.

I need to play that memory game because I suck so bad at it. I was playing a memory game with a nice looking therapist woman in the place where David Smizer hangs out.

Kristen's tits were popping out. I did a double take on them because she was wearing a tight shirt. I didn't like the fact that I was looking at her tits because I'm not suppose to like her.

I find Adam easy to talk to. Every time you talk to him, you get a good feeling when you're done. I find the opposite with Robert. Robert seems like he doesn't know what to say when I have a conversation with him.

That's actually nitpicking because Robert is a great guy. If something is bothering some one, he takes care of it because it bothers him too. That's what no one sees about him. Who cares if he fucks up schedules. If you have a problem, he makes it his problem and he even goes out of his way to solve it.

Want to know what really really sucks? The smell of a woman's period. Please, wash yourself before you come to the program. It's gross being around some one and their period is stinking up the joint.

I'm going to Philly today to get my heart checked out. After I get my heart checked out, I go and eat the greasiest cheese steak from one of the trucks.